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Pediatric RN’s: What should sleep/nap schedule be for a 16 month old?

We are having trouble getting our 16 month old boy to sleep through the night. I fear we’ve trained him that whenever he cries out, he gets immediate attention, be it in the form of being fed a bottle and rocked back to sleep or being placed in our bed, (which makes it difficult for us to sleep soundly ourselves). He has learned how to tell if he is being held or is in human-contact while asleep, and often wakes when an attempt is made to lay him down. What are acceptable amounts of napping during the day, and how can we break this viscious cycle and get a good nights sleep?
We don’t view co-sleeping as a viable option. I have constant nightmares from a deeply rooted fear of rolling over onto him and suffocating him, which although I realize is extremely unlikely, I am unable to shake off.
Also, how long should he be allowed to nap during the day?

I have a 17month old. She sometimes does this too. I sometimes put her in bed with me for 15mins then back in her bed after I have comforted her. I don’t let her sleep with me. I wouldn’t be able to sleep. But, most of the time she is happy with a bottle or binky. I know it interrupts your sleep, but we cant help that as parents. I know when she gets older like my 3yr old, that will stop so I am not worried. You don’t have to co-sleep with him. I know some people who do and some who don’t. That shouldn’t be a requirement and especially if you have reservations about it. My daughter usually has 2 naps a day. One in the morning around 10 and another maybe around 3. Try giving him a bath before bed so he gets real tired and comfy.
Here is a good website for you to try.
http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/Sleep.cfm

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